Experiencing violence

If you are in immediate danger, dial 111 and ask for the Police.

If you are experiencing violence, tell someone.

It could be a friend, family member, workmate, teacher, carer, employer or health professional, or family violence prevention service.

No-one should be fearful of their partner or a member of their family. No matter what your age or sex, it's never OK if your partner or any member of your family:

  • scares or intimidates you with words or actions
  • makes you isolated and alone
  • touches you in a way you don't want
  • uses threats to control you
  • damages property/walls/ possessions to scare you
  • physically hurts you - e.g. attempts to strangle, hits, kicks, pushes, bites or pulls your hair
  • makes you feel scared of what might happen next
  • keeps your money from you.

It is never OK for your partner or any member of your family to use violence to hurt or control you.

If you are in an abusive relationship, it can help to develop a plan to stay safe – while in the relationship and if you decide to leave. A safety plan can involve:

  • Memorising emergency numbers (Police, friends, neighbours)
  • Getting copies of important documents (like passports and birth certificates) and storing them to take with you in a hurry
  • Planning an escape route for when your partner becomes violent.

You can call:

  • The Police, on 111, if you are in immediate danger.
  • The Family Violence Information Line (0800 456 450).  It provides self-help information and connects people to services where appropriate. It is available seven days a week, from 9am to 11pm, with an after-hours message redirecting callers in the case of an emergency.


If you are experiencing violence, there are people who can help or offer advice:

1 in 3 App - designed by Inner City Women's Group (ICWG Auckland)

The 1 in 3 Be Free App is an educational tool, designed to help women screen for abuse in their relationship, educate them on the different types of abuse and connect them with support services in their region of New Zealand – should they require it. The App is focused on helping women in heterosexual relationships.


Make a safety plan

Women's Refuge has more information on developing a safety plan.

Go to the Women’s Refuge website