What next

It’s not just hitting and physical violence. It’s everything that makes people frightened of you —

  • scaring
  • controlling
  • putting people down
  • smashing stuff
  • harassing
  • threatening

There is no excuse for violence.

It may have been part of your childhood but you can choose not to repeat it.

No-one deserves to be scared or frightened of you.

Figure out your warning signs

Feeling upset, angry, frustrated? Head full of negative thoughts? Heart racing, sweaty hands?

Before you do something you regret —


to keep yourself safe and others safe.

You could be

  • a father whose kids aren’t afraid
  • a partner who doesn’t dominate
  • a strong man who isn’t violent
  • someone who considers others and what they’re saying

You’re not alone

Men are turning their lives around — building happy, loving relationships based on respect and trust rather than fear and violence.

It takes courage, effort and determination. But change is possible.

“I’m not making the same mistakes again and again. It’s like getting out of a never-ending circle.”

Ask for help

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s really hard to make changes all on your own.

Talk to someone you trust — a mate, or someone in your family.

Call the Family Violence Information Line on 0800 456 450 to find out about organisations in your area that can help. Or visit: