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Help for people worried they are frightening or hurting others

Change is possible. While it takes courage and determination it is possible and you don’t have to do it on your own. Don’t wait, it could be one of the most important things you do for yourself and those you care about.

Taking the first step

People who have stopped using violence say the hardest part was admitting they needed help. It was a big thing to recognise they needed to change their behaviour - and asking for help meant they got the support they needed to make lasting change.

Talk to someone you trust

People who want to change their behaviour may find it useful to talk to someone they trust – a mate, or someone in their family who has everyone’s best interests at heart. Conversations like this can be hard, but friends and whānau can be a great source of support. If you can’t think of anyone to talk to see below for where you can find support.

Close up of two people's hands who are sitting at a table holding glasses of water.

Change is possible

There are plenty of people who have previously used abusive behaviour or violence - but have successfully made big changes to live violence-free.  There is help available for those who are ready to make the changes and live their lives so others feel safe, respected and cared for.  

We’re pulling together more information and resources for those wanting to change their violent behaviour. We’ll add more links and guidance here when we’ve done that.

Start your change journey

If you're ready to make change, you can find information and support on the In Your Hands website. You can also hear stories of people who have used family violence in the past and successfully made changes to live violence free. 

Find Support

Are You OK Helpline -  0800 456 450

This helpline provides information and support to anyone concerned for themselves or for someone else in relation to family violence. The helpline connects people to further support services where appropriate. Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Find support