Q:

I’m at a crossroads

My partner, our toddler and I were at my friend’s house having dinner when me and my little sister got into an heated argument. My friend had tried to calm me down but didn't work. Instead my partner grabbed me, pushed me against the wall and tried to stop me arguing by covering my mouth. I was completely shocked by this that I walked off. I called my friend to drop my son off to my mums. I went home and my partner followed. He never said anything to me, I got upset and asked him why he did that? He said he wanted me to calm down. He doesn't think what he did was wrong? Was he right to act that way? I’m so confused!


A:

Thank you for writing in and sharing. I would like to first off say that “No” it was not ok what your partner did to you. Grabbing you, pushing you up against a wall and covering your mouth with his hand is completely unacceptable and not ok regardless of the circumstances.

There is no excuse or justification for using any kind of force or violence against another person and there are other ways to get a person to calm down without using violence.

I would suggest that if you want to stay in your relationship you and your partner consider seeking some professional support to help you work through this. Couple counselling can be very helpful so it may be worth considering if both parties are willing, of course, and also if you do feel that it could help.

I wish you all the best.

 Jude

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