This story contains many examples of tactics of power and control: including isolation, mindgames, intimidation, financial, verbal & physical abuse

After a series of violent and frightening events one of my daughters, who was seven at the time, said “Mum, we have to leave”.

Things have changed for the better at He Tauaa Hawks Rugby League Club in the past year. The players and refs are happier, and the sideline abuse has dropped.

"The hardest part was breaking through the mental abuse that drained me to a point where it was hard to think for myself let alone ask for help."

I became so obsessed in myself and my ego that I completely ignored the needs of my partner and children. I would be verbally, physically, emotionally abusive.

I guess my situation was made more difficult because I am the boss, so it took a lot for my staff to pull me aside and find out what was going on.

I am a different person from becoming aware of and changing my learned negative and abusive way to being a loving parent and partner.

A story of a child isolated by a controlling parent. "Kids who walk on eggshells around their parents are masters of stealth from a young age..."

A relationship that started quickly, escalating into controlling behaviour and physical violence, and friends and agencies providing support to leave.

A year has gone by and so much has changed - I've learned so much especially the importance of knowing your worth and loving yourself deeply.