If only I knew - 1 May 2014

I spent 10 years in a violent relationship while my three children watched on. Every day it was happening, the fighting, watching their dad smack me around in a drug and alcohol fuelled rage. 

One day I came home from work only to hear my 9 year old son verbally abuse me like his dad. That was the day I decided I was done. Over the next six weeks I planned my move with my three children. It was not easy but we did it and none of us ever looked back. 

I had to move home to NZ to escape. My children then were 17, 12 and 9. The effect it has had on them is immense. My eldest daughter is 27 and is in and out of relationships, she is a binge drinker and just finds times hard. 

My son, now 18, has had four years of drugs and alcohol and did in fact head butt his girlfriend. He hates his dad for what he did to our family and has nothing to do with him. 

My 21 year old daughter spends her time looking out for me. So very protective. For her no boyfriends, she will wait for that perfect man to have a perfect life with him. She lets no one in. 

My children are wonderful looking kids with amazing personalities but they are all victims of circumstance. If I could do it all again I would have got out straight away. 

Don't wait for it to get better because it never does. While you are waiting your children are hurting and for them that hurt and damage never goes away. You have a responsibility to them to protect them, that is all they want from you. Get out!


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